It feels like a lifetime since the last time I blogged.I wish I could say so much has happened but it hasn't. Feelings of doubt,uncertainty and everlasting boredom are still here. Same shit- different day. I spend hours looking online for jobs and I send new resumes out and I feel defeated if I don't get a call back within a short amount of time. I finally got ahold of my career counselor who said not to send out resumes this week because it's labor day weekend and everyone is away.
I have to admit I was feeling better Sunday and Monday. Hopeful almost. I think my problem is not feeling productive because today I went to help my sister at her new job and I slipped back into feelings of defeat. She got a position in her field being a gym teacher and even though she's not doing exactly what she wants, my thoughts of positiveness floated away when all I could think about was that she had a job and I didn't.
My Mom knew I was feeling down. My mood went from happy to depressed throughout the day. Even stepping on the scale and seeing that I lost another 2 pounds didn't cheer me up. When I'm nervous I don't eat. I've actually lost over 8 pounds since the beginning of the summer.I asked my mom to drive me to a job I found online today so I can drop off my resume. I hate that I need a crutch but it really helps me. I don't need her to hold my hand but I do need someone to listen to me when I run back to the car. Looking for a job...the whole...dropping off your resume, interviews, covers letters...is so exhausting and emotionally draining. So that's what I'll be doing tomorrow.No other jobs really lined up for tomorrow. I agreed to make a special diner for everyone tomorrow night just to keep my mind from JOB!!JOB!!! YOU HAVE NO JOB!!!
1 comment:
oh you are stressed out! i bet you here's part of your problem... you've been on the 'i have to get good grades to get into college and then in college... the i have to be top in my class to get a great job' treadmill. funny thing is life doesn't work that way for most people and it's okay! it took me 34 years to figure this out. you will find a job, you had 3 already, if you wanted them. so what's holding you back? are you afraid? sometimes you just have to get your foot in the door and other jobs will fall in your lap.
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