This felling has got to stay

Today I am happy. Today I am excited. I'm finally excited about my new job. I bought some clothes today for my new job and I could start imaging myself in those clothes at work. I just got really excited.

Don't let it go away...this feeling has got to stay.

Got to go...the season premiere of the office is on (true love).

Funk This

So I got a job. I start on Monday. I just don't know what to say about it. I'm just really scared- I guess. I'll be working for Community Relations for an old age home. I just hope that I have enough to do to keep me busy for 40 hours a week- that's my main concern. I'm still a little unclear exactly what they want from me. Everyone there seems super nice though so I'm very looking forward to that. I'm know I don't sound excited and I don't know why. I hope after my first day there I feel a little bit more excited.

I spoke to Career Counselor yesterday and he had only good things to say about me. about how hard I worked and how I'll do great in this job. This just frustrates me. How come everyone else can see it but I don't. I wish I was going into this job thinking "I'm gonna nail this". Instead I think about how horrible it would be if this job doesn't work out because the economy is so bad and I'll probably never get a job again.

I'll also be moved in with my boyfriend this week. There's just so much going on. As soon as my insurance kicks in I'm going to speak to a counselor. I think it will help. I should be so excited about all the things going on in my life because they're so great but instead, I'm in a horrible funk.

Don't get your hopes up

So along with the interview I have in Brooklyn tomorrow I just got another call for an interview for a job closer to home. So now I have a job interview at 12 in Brooklyn and a second interview near home at 4pm... Because one interview a day isn't nerve wracking enough!
I have to admit I'm a little excited though...nervous and excited.

Shot ------->

I have an interview somewhere deep in Brooklyn on Tuesday. My confidence is non-exsistant and I'm just thinking that I'm doomed to roam the earth jobless.
Shit- my anxiety just shot right back up.

Four Letter Words- Hope edition

Still my phone doesn't ring. Another day, another couple of resumes sent out.
I hope something works out. I really don't know where this "Hope" is coming from but I have it. I just hope I'm not...like...wrong.

Panic Queen

So many things going through my head. I hope the recruiter for this job calls me. I already checked their website and it says a recruiter will normally get back to you in 7-10 days. My application was sent over on Friday afternoon.

Oh man, I really need to stop googling past classmates and comparing their lives to mine. Why do I do this? This is a new obsession. It's a little unnerving knowing that someone from your past is only a few clicks away.

Today was a rainy day which seemed appropriate as I packed up boxes from my room for the big move to my boyfriends place. The rain served as camouflage for my tears.

I should sleep but I can't and I won't.

Before the Cold

Every day is so different around here. I have no idea where this hurricane of a job hunt will send me. I went to see my career advisor for the second time on Thursday. He informed me that my post grad job search will be the hardest part of my whole job career. I have a bachelors and little to no experience. Also our economy is in the gutter and I'm trying to find a job in a time when hardly any one's hiring.

So far my career advisers have been little to no help. Alas, with the research I did myself I found that a rent a car company has a managerial training program and actually recruit through my school. I never thought that I would be interested in something that this but I have to say I think I can apply it to what I really want to do in life. When i went to see my advisor I told him about it and he actually had spoken to the recruiter earlier in the day. So, today he informed me that he sent over my resume to him. I hope I get some kind of call. The rest of our visit ( the whole 2 1/2 hours I spent there) was spent doing a mock interview.

Today,Friday, I spent the day at my boyfriends- all alone (well, the 2 cats were here) while he was at work. I decided to take a long walk on the beach. Two and a half hours later my hair looked like shit and I could hardly drive home my legs were jiggling like jello. I'm just so eager to work and I feel like my life is on hold right now.

Take 2

okay so now this is getting serious...2 posts in one day!?!
Everyone around me is sick of hearing me talk and I'm even sick of hearing me talk but that doesn't do anything to make the thoughts running through my head go away.

I just wish this feeling would end!!!!!

Crippling

Why can't I just chill the fuck out?
This last week was a total lost week because of Labor day and pretty much EVERYONE went away last week. So, like my career advisor advised, I didn't send any resumes out.
First thing this morning I emailed out 4 resumes- 2 jobs I like and 2 I could deal with.

I just wish I could chill out and just enjoy the last of these breezy summer days and just know that I'll get a job eventually.I can't even tell you how I can actually feel the anxiety pulsating through my veins.

The day outside is just flawless and I'm actually going to get to spend time with my boyfriend tonight but once again I'm so stressed out that I'm shaky! Just wish I could chill out- why can't I? I should be feeling happy....
I'll eventually get a job, I'm moving in with my boyfriend, I just got my diploma on Sunday and I made the Deans list....yet all I can focus on is the crippling anxiety.