It's been jokingly said that I'll end up in a house boat writing poetry with a bunch of cats. This scenario still doesn't sound like a bad outlook. I never dreamed of myself as rich, never liked spending money on frivolous items and always had some sort of budget. Hell, in my early 20's my aunt passed away and left me a nice sum of money and instead of spending it on vacations, cars or clothes, I decided to save it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a cheapskate either. I treat myself to Starbucks coffee, I've been to almost every restaurant on this Island and always have professional quality clothes for work. It's just that I consider Starbucks an indulgence, use coupons for restaurants or often ask for gift certificates as gifts and only buy clothes when I can get a discount (hello, Kohl's 30% scratch off coupon).
I guess I'm this way because I've been on both sides of the spectrum. I've been dirty rich with toys like pools, trampolines, go karts and a house so big one of my friends almost got lost in it. Then one day it was all gone. I had to get rid of all the toys and had to sometimes eat pasta for days because that's all we could afford. Food shopping is always the most depressing thing when your poor because you're shopping for a necessity that you can't meet the expense of. It's a daunting occurrence. Food shopping aside; when the money was gone, I never missed the house, I never missed the trampoline, the go-karts, the pools; these items never made me truly happy.
My house when I lived " the good life" in Florida. After I lost the money, I consciously made sure never to get to attached to it again. I always played hard to get with money; never let it know I was interested usually doing this by taking jobs that brought me joy but paid crap or buying nice items at discounts. I pretended money didn't mean shit to me and that I could be fine with very little of it. Well, as I get older I find I can no longer keep this luxury. I need money.
This smile not bought with money. I spent Monday at the bank with a thick folder stuffed with every financial piece of paper that I own. It sucked. Even when the bank told me that I was going to be okay, it still sucked. It turns out, you do need money. I need money for a car and I need a nice car for my professional job. I need credit cards to get good credit so I can buy things like a house or rent an apartment. I need a job that makes me work hard so I can make a decent amount of money and I need to get a loan to pay for more school so I can get said job that will pay for the car that will drive me to my house. By the end of the meeting, a houseboat with a few scrap pieces of paper and canned beans never looked so fine.
On top of the meeting with Mr. Bank man this week; my landlords raised my rent(again!) and also pulled out my internet and cable which was previously included in the rent. I freaked: "I love my TV!!!! Boyfriend, get on the phone right now and get prices for packages for cable and internet and phone and what are we going to do about rent"!!! Well, I have internet again but I did something I
thought was tremendous but now as I reflect, it could just be perfectly me.
I got rid of cable for my TV.I couldn't really afford all three or maybe I could but it just seemed like it wasn't the smartest luxury to enjoy right now. I'll deeply miss my Top Chef, my Project Runway, my True Life...but I just can't let money know I'm really
that interested.